Now that a 10-year-old American child was raped and impregnated, then had to cross state lines to get an abortion, not all preschoolers may be so lucky. Sometimes it’s just hard to get a ride from an anti-abortion Christian without them preaching…
We've seen them all in the past, the images of Jesus in a privet, in a dollop of mashed potatoes, in a bowl of porridge, and in the background of someone's photo, but there was the crowning glory of these sightings this week, when a man saw his own i…
A baby boy born in early July, who started as he meant to go on, by bawling for all he was worth the moment he emerged into the open air, still hasn't stopped crying, even though it's now September. The tot, who was only just over 2 kilos in weigh…
A newborn baby boy who won't stop crying and who was examined by a person totally unqualified to do so, was pronounced to be suffering from a pain in his mouth, whereupon a radical but regularly-used system of treatment was begun. Zee-gar-see, who…
It's always a blissful experience when babies are born, with parents gazing lovingly at their new addition, its beautiful eyes, adorable nose, little fingers and toes, and, in order to cause maximum embarrassment to its grandparents, wondering what k…
NEW YORK CITY – The National Institute of Births has just released statistics that show that the nation can expect a huge spike in baby births in January (nine months from now). NIB Executive Director, Dr. Grover Kimkullen, said that with the new...
WEST CHESTER--A seventy-five-year-old woman, whose name was being withheld at press time, was found dead in her apartment yesterday afternoon, trapped by the weighted blanket under which she had been pinned for some time. Neighbors, who had not seen...
Fairbury, Nebraska - A local couple gave birth to their first child Tuesday, and, according to their neighbor, the baby is uglier than shit. The ugly baby was born to Sarah and Michael Austin of Fairbury. Neighbor, Sal Greene, a 65-year-old writer...
Curtis Johnson, a 27-year-old professional who prides himself on working smart but definitely not hard, stumbled upon a highly effective means of procrastinating at work when, a little while before a big department meeting at which Curtis was expecte...
News is emerging from southern Germany tonight, to the effect that Adolf Hitler, the former chancellor who lead Germany into the Second Worl War in 1939, and who was responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent Jews, was once a teeny, tiny baby...
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have a problem: their son Archie has said he refuses to be christened with the name 'Archie', and will not attend his own christening later today. The royal couple had planned to ha...
US President Donald Trump is now more popular than ever, and there are firm statistics to prove it! The US Office of Statistical Research (USOSR) has published figures which show that last year, the number of newborn baby boys being given the nam...
Adela Gomez, newly arrived in the United States from Venezuela and not yet fully fluent in idiomatic English, was confused but happy to help when her neighbor Anna asked her to "babysit" Anna's ten-month-old son, Nathan - only to comply literally wit...
The latest 'kick' for parents travelling through Southeast Asia is to allow their babies to go 'Bungee Jumping!' Local authorities are finding this latest internet hype rather 'bouncy' and have arrested parents waiting to send their babies on an a...
In more a medical miracle than an instance of evangelical fervor, South Boston became the (double-)birthplace of the nation’s first ever born-again baby, Robbie Fitzpatrick. While doctors are still struggling to pin down the scientific details. t...
Dear Dr. Quigley My wife and I want to thank you so much for your help now that she has managed to give birth despite the fact that several years ago I was told I am completely sterile. Your treatment worked wonders and we are both happy that she didn't have to resort to IVF which can be a traumatic experience. A. Simpleton, Bangor. Mr. Simpleton, you don't have to thank me as it was my plea...
Earlier this morning, White House officials addressed the nation in a press conference and confirmed that Kim Jong-Un, leader of the most tyrannical government in the world, was once an adorable Asian baby. The shocking evidence disproves the commonl...
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