Arrogant Teachers are on the Rise

Funny story written by clevelandclowns

Saturday, 9 June 2007

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CLEVELAND, OH - A new survey in this month's TIME explained that the new breed of teacher is non-existent to that of a 1950's educator. The ability to translate such languages as Ebonics, Jive, and Spanish (pending location) has been the main catalyst in this change.

In the past, typically teachers would only be required to understand one principal language: English. Now, professors are compelled to learn a supplementary language amid the above-mentioned; i.e., Portuguese.

That makes a total of two required languages and at least one territorial language needed for the educationalist to be qualified to educate. A written proficiency test has been implemented and is required by state to be undertaken should a post-graduate aspire entering into the educational field. This test comprises trivia pertaining to the multi-cultural languages as well as French Canadian history.

It has been said that the test though is racially un-bias towards the African-American community and protestors have been marching outside of the senate offices since yesterday's A.M. With the declining popularity of education, officials have been circling in debates to seek out logical ways to keep teachers' expectations to a minimum and the enrollment of students to teeming.

When asked about results, representative from the Board of Education Anita Hoare answered, "Nothing yet."

The increase in arrogant teachers is at an all-time peak and speculation is claiming it's due to the recent initiation of the bi-lingual demand.

"Most of the cool teachers really don't know other languages, and therefore we are left to choose a candidate that is smarter, but snootier," explains superintendent Rick Cuttingedge from the Cleveland district. "These teachers are also becoming court room reporters or entrepreneurs in the craft industry," harks Phillip Herbox, a social studies teacher at Harlem's prestigious Harlem High School. She continued with, "it's not fair to be able to have two jobs when the old teachers don't even have one. I think it's because of whitey."

Matt Warzel

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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