In a stunning new development, the GOP has admitted to trying to clone the corpse of Ronald Reagan, since their current and potential contenders for the Oval Office ain’t so good.
“We need a leader, a winner – we don’t like losers, and Trump is … well, he’s a man who knows how to eat his own words, to put it lightly,” said a spokesperson who would only go by the name, Mr. Whitewing. “We need a man with brains.”
Mmmmmm brains … a zombie Reagan will bring brains back into the White House, where they will be eaten by all the rightwing leaders of the world.
The Chinese dictator is ready to bring the sweet and sour sauce for the brains, and the Russian leader is bringing the vodka to burn and kill any parasites that the GOP brains may cause once they enter a human body.
The cloning has yet to be successful, but experiments continue … if not Reagan, then another zombie will have to do. The Republicans have tons of them, as long as they can stop eating brains and use them instead
