The Oldest British Human Fossils Found at Boxgrove in Sussex Finally Analyzed

Funny story written by UncleDale

Sunday, 6 November 2022

image for The Oldest British Human Fossils Found at Boxgrove in Sussex Finally Analyzed
The face has a remarkable resemblance to Boris Johnson

Fossilized human Bones 480, 000 years old were found at Boxgrove in Sussex several years ago - and have finally been analyzed.

They were compared to human remains from a cave complex in Spain - which help identify them. The Early Brit. was named Boxgrove Man.

They were either Early Neanderthals, possibly from France - (back then you could walk on land from France to Britain) - or German relatives - (Homo Heidelbergensis).

(Not Gay as far as we know - Homo has other meanings). But there could have been gay members.

One anthropologist theorized that Gayness was a survival trait for the Early Humans - single gay men and women making a family's survival chance much greater - (than in other families) - where the sons or daughter left the family when hooking up with a mate from another tribe

These early Brits made High Tech (for the time) stone tools - and hunted and dined on deer and other large food animals. (Maybe each other also). Possibly England was the original Garden of Eden that the Jews theorized about in the Old Testament. Wouldn't that be a laugh?

An artist's impression of Boxgrove Man shows a hairy, primitive looking creature.

The face has a remarkable resemblance to Boris Johnson’s face - (minus the hair of course) - with the same vacuous expression.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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