The Milk Industry Says That The US May Run Out of Milk By Christmas

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 20 October 2021

image for The Milk Industry Says That The US May Run Out of Milk By Christmas
Dairy farmers all agree that milk cows love to have their picture taken.

SAUSALITO, California – (Satire News) – The National Milk Providers Federation, has just made it known that the nation runs the risk of totally running out of milk by the Christmas holidays.

Marcia DeLeche, executive director for NMPF, told the American news media that the reason for the possible “No Milk” situation is simply due to the fact that for some, as still unknown reason, dairy cows are just not producing milk like they used to.

Miss DeLeche points her finger at the fact that the udders on today’s milk cows are not as big as those udders of the past.

When asked why, she responded by saying that in her opinion the udder atrophycation of the cow teets is due to the new strains of hay that have been developed.

When asked to explain that in layman’s terms, DeLeche simply said that the shrinkage of the diary cow udders falls under the Dairy Cow Preparation H Syndrome.

Meanwhile, VP Harris has informed the news media that the US Department of Agriculture is looking into possibly importing milk from Ireland, Bolivia, and Macadamia.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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