DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – The state of Alabama, which is noted for cotton, banjos, Confederate condoms, chicken fried possum, and being the reddest state in the nation has just made national news.
The state which Neil Young once said he hates even more than athlete’s foot and hail combined, passed what pot guru Willie Nelson remarked are the strictest cannabis laws in the nation.
Nelson noted that the state has mandated that first time weed offenders will be fined $19,000. Second time offenders will be fined $28,000, plus they will forfeit their driver’s license, all of their credit cards, and they will have the words "I Smoke Pot" tattooed on their foreheads.
The 88-year-old singer added that third time offenders will be incarcerated in Mobile's Shucks Y'all State Prison where they will be placed in solitary confinement for 25 years.
CNN’s Anderson Cooper stated on his show that pot enthusiast Snoop Dogg told him that he would not set foot in Alabama for all of all of the grits in Georgia, all of the nuts in Brazil, or all of the cocaine in California.
A representative for the state pointed out that if you are a resident of Alabama and you want to smoke your marijuana, that you better do the smart thing and go smoke it in neighboring Mississippi, Georgia, Tennessee, or Florida.
SIDENOTE: Boom Boom News is reporting that Governor Brian Kemp of Georgia, has just issued a statement welcoming any Alabama marijuana enthusiasts to come to the Peach State and light up them “Doobies.”