Man Decided To Have A Garden Fire And Put A Lot Of Aerosol Cans On It To See What Would Happen

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 18 September 2019

image for Man Decided To Have A Garden Fire And Put A Lot Of Aerosol Cans On It To See What Would Happen
Some ideas are not good ones

A man who had nothing better to do at the weekend, decided to have a fire in his back garden, and put some old, empty aerosol cans he had in his garage, on the fire, to see what would happen.

Moys Kenwood had the idea whilst looking at a can of aerosol spray paint, on Sunday. He read the warning advising users not to put empty cans onto a fire, but this only aroused his curiosity further, and he looked around for some more.

Having collected ten, he hastily put together a bonfire with wood, an old mattress, some unused rolls of wallpaper, a pair of ripped and broken curtains, and token other combustible materials, lit it, and waited for it to 'gather some steam'. Then, he quickly pushed the aerosols into the heart of the fire, and stood back, waiting.

As the minutes passed, he let his mind wander. He looked at the trees and the flowers, the garden awash with color, the birds flitting across the rooftops, and the wispy clouds, slowly drifting across the blue sky.

Suddenly, there was a flash, and something that felt like a sonic boom. A ball of fire leapt from the flames into a tree, and a blaze quickly took hold amongst the branches. Several other explosions followed, and windows nearby shattered. A woman screamed. Dogs barked and chickens clucked, frantically.

A fire brigade, had it existed, would have been called. It didn't, and wasn't.

After the blaze had been extinguished by children who threw buckets of water at it, Kenwood's wife banished him indoors, telling him to:

"read a book, listen to some music, or go on that daft Spoof thing."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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