Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 30 March 2019

image for Stranger Things No Longer Happening At Sea, Says Report
Strange, but clearly not happening at sea

Results of a new survey seem to show that, contrary to the old adage that 'stranger things happen at sea', life on the ocean waves has become largely regularised, and odd, weird and uncanny things rarely happen there anymore.

In the dim and distant past, when our forefathers sailed the seven seas to strange, enchanting and mystical lands in search of fame and fortune, it was a normal occurrence to come across a mermaid, a leviathan, a kraken, or some other sea monster, but, these days, the same cannot be said.

Indeed, it's probably fair to say that many of the things that happen on land these days, are a sight more strange than anything likely to happen whilst afloat!

Take, for instance, the strange goings-on at Westminster, where, every day, highly-paid elected officials try, in vain, to come to an agreement over something they are nowhere-near-enough qualified to talk about.

That doesn't happen at sea.

And, as far as can be gleaned, the sexual abuse of minors by members of the Catholic Church, seems to be a land-based activity, and something that is not practised on the high seas.

By their very nature, walls must be built with foundations, and do not, therefore, sit well with being built 'at sea' in order to separate one country from another. No surprise, then, that stranger-than-strange US president, Donald Trump, has decided to erect his very strange barrier across the breadth of the USA.

Not at sea.

The survey was conducted by me, as I ate my dinner last night, which, incidentally, was fish and chips.

The fish did happen at sea.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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