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Funny story: Man Annoyed That He Probably Won't Get To See Halley's Comet Again

Man Annoyed That He Probably Won't Get To See Halley's Comet Again

A man that is interested in seeing things has said that he is upset and annoyed that, in all likelihood, he won't get to see Halley's Comet again. Moys Kenwood, 56, was born in 1963, and, as the comet is not expected again until 28 July 2061 when...

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Funny story: Trump's Fourth Of July Celebrations To Be "Astronomically Expensive"

Trump's Fourth Of July Celebrations To Be "Astronomically Expensive"

The annual fourth of July celebrations, commemorating the Declaration of Independence of the United States on July 4, 1776, have always been celebrated on its anniversary, and this year will be no different. One major difference this year, howeve...

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Funny story: First Black Hole Image Released: Einstein Speaks Out

First Black Hole Image Released: Einstein Speaks Out

Following the astonishing release of the first ever images of a black hole, the late Dr Albert Einstein, the little-known theoretical physicist and Nobel prize winner, has spoken out today through clairvoyant conman medium Derek Acora. Mr Acora's spi...

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Funny story: Halley's Comet Future Thrown Into Confusion

Halley's Comet Future Thrown Into Confusion

Halley's Comet, or Comet Halley as it is sometimes referred to, has been flying around the solar system every 76 years ever since astronomers could be bothered looking, but now a heated debate has sprung up in my own mind about the future of the come...

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Funny story: Man Sustained Eye Injury Looking For Super Blood Red Wolf Sun

Man Sustained Eye Injury Looking For Super Blood Red Wolf Sun

A man who stood outside his house for more than four hours on Monday in an attempt to view what astronomers described as a Super Blood Red Wolf Sun, had to return inside unsuccessfully after straining his eyes, and making them bloodshot. Moys Kenw...

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Funny story: Extraterrestrial object Oumuamua turns out to be a giant sex-aid

Extraterrestrial object Oumuamua turns out to be a giant sex-aid

Scientists from NASA have been surprised to discover more details about the nature of an unusual extraterrestrial object which recently flew through the solar system. Oumuamua, a very long and girthy asteroid, travelled around the Sun in 2018 and fle...

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Funny story: The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

The universe, which has been expanding rapidly outward ever since the Big Bang, more than 13.8billion years ago, has stopped doing so, and, indeed, has started to contract. Having been rushing continually outward for such a long time, the universe...

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Funny story: Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...

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Funny story: Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize

Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize

The latest in science news theorizes that the earth was originally a Synestia - it took on a giant jelly doughnut shape early in its history, about 4.5 billion years ago. Some scientists believe the earth was originally a blob of mostly vaporized...

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Funny story: New Planet is Actually Peanut Butter on the Hubble Telescope's Lens

New Planet is Actually Peanut Butter on the Hubble Telescope's Lens

Outer Space In retraction of a news flash yesterday about a new planet in our Solar System discovered, astronomers sheepishly admitted that the planet they had discovered and named "New Kid on the Block" after the astronomer's favorite childhood ban...

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Funny story: It Is What It Is, Isn't It?

It Is What It Is, Isn't It?

Much like the mysterious dark matter that astrophysicists have been hypothesizing about since the 1930s, metaphysicians this week announced that "It is what it is--isn't." Explained Dr. Cecile Plotinus, who teaches a course in the Pre-Socratic ph...

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Funny story: Scientist Fires Missile and Accidentally Destroys Pluto

Scientist Fires Missile and Accidentally Destroys Pluto

Huntsville, AL An astronomer/scientist at the Space Science Lab, who has so far managed to remain anonymous, has admitted to accidentally destroying Pluto with a nuclear missile. "I meant to hit the zoom so I could get a closer look at this three-...

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Funny story: Cool Sounding "Planet X" draws attention away other more worthwhile celestial bodies

Cool Sounding "Planet X" draws attention away other more worthwhile celestial bodies

Theoretical planet, Planet X is again making headlines despite the fact that there are curious discoveries on other real, existing planetary bodies. Planet X, also known as Nibiru (another cool sounding alias), is an undiscovered enormous planet...

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Funny story: God reveals he uses mirrors to make universe look bigger

God reveals he uses mirrors to make universe look bigger

Scientists have discovered that the universe isn't is a big as previously thought. Suspicions started when a NASA satellite crashed into a large reflective surface found out in the Andromeda system. Many believed that a short circuit in the vessel h...

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Funny story: Universe's inflation discovery proves Big Bang expansion, causing thousands of couples to break up.

Universe's inflation discovery proves Big Bang expansion, causing thousands of couples to break up.

Earlier this week, a team of physicists from Harvard (ever heard of it?) provided direct evidence of cosmic inflation. If validated, this would be the smoking gun for the Big Bang model of the creation of the universe. While the scientific world...

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Funny story: Fox Series "Cosmos" Host Tyson Under Attack

Fox Series "Cosmos" Host Tyson Under Attack

The new Fox Cosmos series, hosted by the now-familiar-to-TV-watchers Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, has upset anti-science conservative Christians. Besides being enraged by Tyson's statement that "the theory of evolution, like the theory of gravity, is a...

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Funny story: Neil DeGrasse Tyson to Star in Sex and the City Spinoff

Neil DeGrasse Tyson to Star in Sex and the City Spinoff

Noted astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has come to terms with producers to star in a new television series on Fox. Co-starring with Tyson are Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon, former stars of the hit series Sex in the City, upon which the new...

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