For many thousands of years, in many thousands of countries, in the minds of many thousands of impressionable human beings, the stars in the sky dictated everything in your life. How prosperous you'd be, who you should or should not marry, what type…
London— The Chinese media is reporting that the nation’s specialized five-hundred-meter Aperture Spherical Telescope (FAST) has detected what appears to be signals used by ‘extraterrestrial civilizations‘. FAST is a radio telescope capable of pic…
After the recent announcement that chemicals in the atmosphere of Venus might signify the presence of life, we at The Spoof managed to launch a space mission to the planet, in order to interview our new alien neighbors. We didn't base this on an old…
(Pasadena, California) On what would normally be joyously hailed as “hope that a second Earth lies among the stars,” scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the California Institute of Technology today unenthusiastically mentioned the disco...
Here are some interesting facts you might not know about your anus. Your anus is the coldest place in the solar system. Your anus is tilted at 98 degrees. Your anus has its own atmosphere. Your anus is made up largely of ammonia and metha...
A man that is interested in seeing things has said that he is upset and annoyed that, in all likelihood, he won't get to see Halley's Comet again. Moys Kenwood, 56, was born in 1963, and, as the comet is not expected again until 28 July 2061 when...
The annual fourth of July celebrations, commemorating the Declaration of Independence of the United States on July 4, 1776, have always been celebrated on its anniversary, and this year will be no different. One major difference this year, howeve...
Following the astonishing release of the first ever images of a black hole, the late Dr Albert Einstein, the little-known theoretical physicist and Nobel prize winner, has spoken out today through clairvoyant conman medium Derek Acora. Mr Acora's spi...
Halley's Comet, or Comet Halley as it is sometimes referred to, has been flying around the solar system every 76 years ever since astronomers could be bothered looking, but now a heated debate has sprung up in my own mind about the future of the come...
A man who stood outside his house for more than four hours on Monday in an attempt to view what astronomers described as a Super Blood Red Wolf Sun, had to return inside unsuccessfully after straining his eyes, and making them bloodshot. Moys Kenw...
Scientists from NASA have been surprised to discover more details about the nature of an unusual extraterrestrial object which recently flew through the solar system. Oumuamua, a very long and girthy asteroid, travelled around the Sun in 2018 and fle...
The universe, which has been expanding rapidly outward ever since the Big Bang, more than 13.8billion years ago, has stopped doing so, and, indeed, has started to contract. Having been rushing continually outward for such a long time, the universe...
For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...
The latest in science news theorizes that the earth was originally a Synestia - it took on a giant jelly doughnut shape early in its history, about 4.5 billion years ago. Some scientists believe the earth was originally a blob of mostly vaporized...
Outer Space In retraction of a news flash yesterday about a new planet in our Solar System discovered, astronomers sheepishly admitted that the planet they had discovered and named "New Kid on the Block" after the astronomer's favorite childhood ban...
Much like the mysterious dark matter that astrophysicists have been hypothesizing about since the 1930s, metaphysicians this week announced that "It is what it is--isn't." Explained Dr. Cecile Plotinus, who teaches a course in the Pre-Socratic ph...
Huntsville, AL An astronomer/scientist at the Space Science Lab, who has so far managed to remain anonymous, has admitted to accidentally destroying Pluto with a nuclear missile. "I meant to hit the zoom so I could get a closer look at this three-...
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