Do gay and lesbian people groom? Do heterosexual people groom? What is groom anyway? Is it like a broom or a groom in a wedding? Can critics of groomers admit truthfully that they’ve never groomed anyone for anything? Does the NRA groom kids to love guns? Do like babies in white hoods exit the vaginas of KKK mamas? Do Israelis groom their kids to hate Palestinians, and vice versa, until, essentially, that entire region is about one generation grooming another to grow up and keep the perpetual grooming alive and well long into the next century (really, Israel, is this going to keep going in the Year 3000? Sigh, I know the answer …)
If your daddy likes men, is he grooming his son or daughter to also like men? What if his daughter doesn’t want to like daddy or his kind, instead she likes mommy? Does that make mommy a groomer? Is the dog grooming me to like licking my own ass? (It hurts my back, Muffin, stop talking to me in my sleep!)
Or is that word just the newest buzz word to allow assholes to feel like they’re superheroes fighting for the Right against the wrong? (Fuck you, Marvel movies, see what you’ve done!)
Can a song groom people? (In the 80s, the answer was yes, and Tipper Gore forced musicians to answer her grooming questions … this was all a product of the Satanic Panic … look it up, it’s all been done before, just using new words.)
Never mind all that grooming horseshit, and sing this song:
Lesbian Is In
Today I am a lesbian
Gonna try to take it in
Dance on a little pin
Trade my yang for some yin
Wanna try the other side for a while
Wear some new shoes and walk a mile
It’s just a search not a threat
FYI I didn’t lose a bet
Lesbian is in
Lure me in
Lesbian is in
Taste my sin
Lesbian is in
Gimmee female skin
Whoever tells me I’m doing wrong
Is probably getting real turned on
Sex repression is their thing
They can’t join with their ding-a-ling
I wanna play with girls
Make them my world
No bad boys allowed
Two genders is a crowd
I wanna scissor
Just to please her
We press our breasts
To feel the best
Keep your stick shift
You’ll never have this
I want the V not the I
No, I’m not even bi
If you find yourself groomed by a song, then you are dumb enough to be an American senator.
And yet they too may be grooming young people right now into becoming the most hideous thing of all … a politician!
