Your guide to caring for a Daily Mail Reader

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 9 April 2021

image for Your guide to caring for a Daily Mail Reader
A Daily Mail reader? Where?

Is there a Daily Mail reader in your life?

Do you have a relative that spouts views that would be embarrassing in an 89-year-old, but they are in their thirties?

Do they buy the Daily Mail in a shop, bravely taking it home to read?

Do they dip into it online to boost their levels of Bile?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then the following guide could be useful.

1) Never feed them after midnight.
2) Never expose them to bright light. Sunlight will kill them.
3) Never get them wet.

Of course, this is how to care for a Mogwai, but we think the rules still apply.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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