Bald-Headed Mad-Englishman shaves his head in Germany!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 4 January 2021

image for Bald-Headed Mad-Englishman shaves his head in Germany!
At last! EU Freedom! It feels great to rid oneself of such archaic bullshit!

(NOT EDITED) In an unprecedented show of solidarity to the EU, a Mad Dog of an Englishman, residing in Germany, decided to remove all signs of UK nationality from his body and wardrobe!

Ten pairs of Union Jack printed underpants, swimming trunks and, 'I LOVE MAGGIE THATCHER T-SHIRTS' were last seen in a trash bin heading towards the local rubbish tip.

In addition, five 'I LOVE LONDON' all-colour baseball caps were burnt with impunity in his back garden. Ten tea-mugs, depicting images of Tower Bridge, Big Ben, Tower of London, The White Cliffs of Dover, were smashed to smithereens, and replaced with coffee-mugs depicting images of Amsterdam Bridges, The Eifel Tower, Berlin Wall, Leaning Tower of Pizza, and Dali's moustache!

However, two Brit articles will remain until ‘Death Us Do Part’: His replica Manchester United shirt, and washed-out Mon Dieu T-shirt!

In a ceremony to celebrate rejecting and disregarding his Brit roots, he stripped naked in the freezing German snow, his Dutch missus shaved his bald English head, and Made in England, pubic hairs, OUCH!

The only remaining English artefact hanging in his decrepit body, is his English heart, when after leaving the planet will be offered to the British National Museum as a reminder of the brilliant years residing within a wonderful group of European nations instead of living on a 'sad' island in the North Sea, which is a 'sad' satellite nation of the USA!

Adios, Auf-Wiedersehen, Xau, Ciao, Au revoir, Tot Ziens, and 22 more goodbyes in languages not even this Brit Nutter can understand! However, the EU will always be my home until the Devil takes all / LMFBO!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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