Political Tourette's Syndrome Disorder

Funny story written by The Ruling Authority

Monday, 5 May 2014

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Clinical psychologists, looking into increasingly widespread dysfunction in the United States Congress, are suggesting an addendum to the DSM (Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) to describe what they are calling Political Tourette's Syndrome Disorder.

As an example, they cite Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Cal.) who, in response to a report of moderate job increases in the previous quarter, could only repeatedly shout, "Benghazi! Benghazi!"

Classical manifestations of Tourette's syndrome typically include various physical and vocal 'tics', i.e. the spontaneous utterance of socially inappropriate or obscene words, and facial contortions or rapid blinking. These behaviors can be problematic for individuals and may often be viewed by society as bizarre. (Historically, sufferers of TS were accused of demonic possession.)

Severe cases involving Tourette's can interfere with social and professional functioning and here is where this fairly uncommon disorder has become a national problem. The disorder has spread to an alarming number of Republican Senators and Representatives, including but not limited to, Rep. Trey Gowdy (R.-S.C.), Rep. Frank Wolfe (R-Va), Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), and Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas). These, and other sufferers, are medically unable to perform their public obligations and seem able only to continually shout, "Obamacare!", "Benghazi!", and "No! no! no!".

Psychologists say that, while the persons who are afflicted with this disorder deserve our sympathy and care, it may be best for them and for society at large for them to leave the stress of public office and be treated privately, away from the public eye and safe from cruel commentary.

(Note: This P.T.S.D. should not be confused with the other P.T.S.D., which cannot be simply voted out of office.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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