GOP Presidential Hopeful Thinks Earth May Be Flat

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

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Presidential aspirant Senator Marco Rubio (R-Fl) responded recently to a question from GQ about the age of the earth:

The Tea Party darling said, "I'm not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that's a dispute amongst theologians and I think it has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States. I think the age of the universe has zero to do with how our economy is going to grow.

"I'm not a scientist. I don't think I'm qualified to answer a question like that. At the end of the day, I think there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created and I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all. I think parents should be able to teach their kids what their faith says, what science says. Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries."

When the same magazine asked him if he thought the earth was a spheroid that revolved around the sun he said,

"As I say, I'm not a scientist, dude. That's a dispute between theologians and scientists. It's a great mystery. And I believe that our schools should present all sides of every question. It teaches them to think. Critical thinking is just so important I've learned in my lifetime. WASHINGTON POSTNEW YORK TIMES I can tell you some passages in the Bible say the earth is flat. I guess scientists disagree. But when the experts are in disagreement it's best to withhold one's opinion. I think one of our history's greatest philosophers, Bacchus or Picasso said that. Anyway, it's what I believe."

When GQ asked Rubio if it wasn't true that he had a high grade point average when he earned his Bachelor of Science degree on a scholarship, then got his Juris Doctorate graduating cum laude in college the Senator responded with a question of his own.

"Why do you ask,?" he wanted to know.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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