Weiner and Boehner Mocked Then Argue At Local Fast Food Restaurant

Written by Catchthisdrift

Friday, 4 April 2014

image for Weiner and Boehner Mocked Then Argue At Local Fast Food Restaurant
Hillary Clinton, who has more sack than Weiner and Boehner combined.

Washington D.C. - Yesterday former U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner and current U.S. House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner were each mocked about their names and then got into an argument over which of them was bullied more as a child. The two were waiting in line at an area Chick-fil-A when the confrontation erupted.

Witnesses say it began when an unidentified Chick-fil-A patron who was also standing in line recognized Weiner and said "hey, you're that Weiner guy who put a picture of his dick on Twitter! A weiner tweets his weiner. How fucking hilarious is that? Way to go, dude!" Reportedly another person in line then commented that it must have been hard growing up with the last name Weiner. Witnesses say that Weiner was visibly shaken by the comment, and some reported they saw his eyes grow glassy with tears.

Boehner, who was in the same line a few people in front of Weiner, then reportedly turned around and said "Try growing up with the the last name Boehner. Yeah, it's pronounced 'baner', like it rhymes with 'dane' in Great Dane, but it's spelled b o e h n e r, so it looks like 'boner'. Try growing up with THAT strapped to you your entire life!"

The same man who had spoken to Weiner allegedly looked at Boehner and stated "Boner, man, that sucks. Hey boner, how ya doing boner?" Then, paying homage to a famous scene in the 1986 movie 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' the man started flatly saying "Boner? Boner? Boner?"

According to one woman at the scene, Weiner then took a step closer to Boehner and said "Oh waa waa! My first name is Anthony, so I was listed as A. Weiner. At least your first initial is J." Weiner was by that point openly weeping. "I didn't get lunch even one time my senior year of high school!" Although Weiner kept apparently speaking, the words were unintelligible.

Boehner, who had been cowering behind an elderly bystander ever since Weiner had stepped forward, pushed his way past those around him and ran from the store, in the words of Chick-fil-A's manager, "screaming like a little Jennifer."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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