Hollyweird's hottest: Jennifer Love Hewitt

Funny story written by Gee Pee

Sunday, 28 July 2013


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Jennifer Love Hewitt came to fame when she starred in the TV sitcom Partying with Five, in which she played Sarah Reeves Marin, a promiscuous teen tart. She also raised eyebrows (and male appendages) as Julie James in the 1997 motion picture I Know What My Breasts Did Last Summer. Her curvaceous body--she has an amazing rack!--made it clear that she had "grown" considerably, both as an actress and as a woman, since the days she wasted her time starring in the Walt Disney series Kids Incorporated.

Hewitt, who has always been, and remains, a tease, has yet to perform nude on stage or in film. But she does flash her cleavage and the lower portions of her buttocks on occasion, although she has kept herself more under wraps than she once did, after paparazzi shot photos of her in a bikini; it was clear that she has quite a bit of cellulite on both her thighs and her bottom. Hewitt had a hissy fit when reporters mentioned this defect.

As far as her fans are concerned, however, the repulsive herniation of subcutaneous fat within fibrous connective tissue, also known as adiposis edematosa, dermopanniculosis, status protruss, gynoid lipodystrophy, and orange peel, did not tarnish her image as a sweet, but sexy girl next door. "She's still sweet," one teen admirer said, "and she's still sexy--just not as sexy."

The star of Ghost Wanker, Client List, and Hot in Cleveland, If Nowhere Else is also an accomplished musician, of sorts, singing "The Greatest Love of All," which, she says, is about herself.

Born in wacky Waco, Texass, she started out making television commercials for sex toys and adult novelties and considered a career in Hollywood as a performer in adult films. At age 18, she co-starred, with Mattel's Barbie, in a live-action lesbian video workout, Pelvic Thrusts with Barbie, which caught the eye of a talent scout. She was issued a casting couch call, and, after a series of successful auditions, was given a part on Partying with Five.

One role led to another, and, during the next decade, Hewitt had parts in such films as Shake It, Shook It, Shake It Again, Shake It Again and Again, and Shaking It, which showcase her bouncing boobs and flouncing fanny.

The versatile actress (she's just as good anally as she is orally and vaginally, critics contend) has also proved to be manually talented, having tried her hand at producing Wait 'Til Helen Cums after starring in Garfield: A Tale of Two Titties.

She has recorded such hits as "Let's Bang," "Bare Naked," and "I'm a Pussy (Hear Me Purr)."

As promiscuous in reality as she is often portrayed on film, Hewitt has dated, been engaged to, broken up with, or been married to Ross McCall, Jamie Kennedy, Brian Hallisay, and Diana Napolis, with whom Hewitt is expecting her first bastard.

She was been nominated for the 2012 Adult Video News "Best in Bed" award, but lost out to transsexual actress Wendy Williams.

Selected Filmography

In addition to the motion pictures previously mentioned, Hewitt has also had roles in the following films, among many others:

Munch Me
Thunder Thighs
Running Wild
Boy Meets Womb
Around the World for Twenty Dollars
Love Sucks
Tranny Fanny

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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