Yes! Thousands of delusional Catholic protesters have marched to the Dodger stadium's front gates in a show of force against theatrical actors dressed as nuns. "Can you spare your wonderful balls dear Sir? I need them desperately to play some base…
MOSCOW, Russia - (Satire News) - Russia's vile, vulgar, creep leader is getting weirder by the hour. The Kremlin Voice reported that Vladimir Nikita Putin, has stated that he wants all Catholic priests and nums to leave Russia within 24 hours.
HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle, has just broken the story that one of the nun’s at Hackensack’s prestigious Our Lady of The Wonderous Wonderment Church, has been busted at Hackensack’s Guido Sarducci…
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – A well-know pervert, who has been hanging around the downtown area of Providence for years, finally met his match yesterday afternoon. The perv who is the city’s most prolific flasher was standing on Ives…
Standing before a congregation of jubilant priests and journalists from around the globe, Pope Francis announced termination of celibacy for male clergy under 50 years old. In making the historic announcement, the Pope cited workplace safety. "I can...
It was a grey day and my mood wasn't great - someone had stolen my unicycle from outside of Greggs Pie Shop, which, in itself, was a minor miracle, as I had left it outside Starbucks. Feeling depressed, I walked home, the route taking me across Nob...
It's true, it's true. This is no joke. It happened in Pennsylvania recently. Two women in nun's garb held up bank tellers and demanded cash. The would-be robbers became scaredy cats and ran away empty handed when a teller set off an alarm. The...
The mysterious disappearance of Mother Helen Graham four years ago have been solved. She was last seen alive on a nature trail in the Angeles National Forest when she strolled away to look at a cactus flower. Her friend Sister Ellen Turner said, "she...
The film soon to be released "Blood on a White Rose" is already being forecast to clean up at next year's Oscars. It is a drama with class and style. One critic said, "If it were a painting it would be a Raphael." The film teams up, for one more...
He's a nervous wreck these days, as he thinks unemployment could be looming. Sr. Cristina may want to be Pope, he's told friends, adding, "And she' a triple threat. She sings, she dances, she prays. And one more thing. She's Italian, which is...
In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...
A fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," unveiled in 2012, shows no evidence of being a modern forgery, as some critics had charged, according to an article published in the Harvard Theological Review. The con...
VATICAN CITY, ROME - A spokesman for Vatican City finally admitted today that, yes, there is a special forces unit operating under the authority of the Holy See. The possible existence of the ecclesiastical unit came to light when an 84 year-old...
It seems as though the fairy story of the virgin Mary giving birth to Jesus could be true after all because in Italy a baby boy has been born under similar circumstances! A Nun in Rieti, Central Italy, claimed she had no idea she was pregnant and...
Reiti, Italy - (Ass Mess): A 31 year old nun from Reiti's Convent of the Immaculate Deception has named her baby boy Pope Francis after suddenly going into labor on the church's Feast of the Ass, a holy day of obligation. Sister Dolores Concepcion...
MILWAUKEE - Coach Larry Drew of the Milwaukee Bucks has said that he is sick and tired of his team having the worst record in the entire NBA. He pointed out that his team is 7-27, and that he has no idea what the heck is wrong with his Bucks team.
After years of playing the stupid little girl Horny Montoona for the demonic Dismal Network, and then overnight turning into a pornographic female version of Krampus the Christmas Demon and "twerking" up a tempest on stage for a few months, (Twerking...
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