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Funny story: Pope Francis to Eliminate Celibacy for Priests--Nun Surprised

Pope Francis to Eliminate Celibacy for Priests--Nun Surprised

Standing before a congregation of jubilant priests and journalists from around the globe, Pope Francis announced termination of celibacy for male clergy under 50 years old. In making the historic announcement, the Pope cited workplace safety. "I can...

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Funny story: Pope Francis touched me on the Nob End

Pope Francis touched me on the Nob End

It was a grey day and my mood wasn't great - someone had stolen my unicycle from outside of Greggs Pie Shop, which, in itself, was a minor miracle, as I had left it outside Starbucks. Feeling depressed, I walked home, the route taking me across Nob...

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Funny story: Did You Hear the One about Two Nuns Who Tried to Rob a Bank?

Did You Hear the One about Two Nuns Who Tried to Rob a Bank?

It's true, it's true. This is no joke. It happened in Pennsylvania recently. Two women in nun's garb held up bank tellers and demanded cash. The would-be robbers became scaredy cats and ran away empty handed when a teller set off an alarm. The...

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Funny story: Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

The mysterious disappearance of Mother Helen Graham four years ago have been solved. She was last seen alive on a nature trail in the Angeles National Forest when she strolled away to look at a cactus flower. Her friend Sister Ellen Turner said, "she...

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Funny story: Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise to Star Again

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise to Star Again

The film soon to be released "Blood on a White Rose" is already being forecast to clean up at next year's Oscars. It is a drama with class and style. One critic said, "If it were a painting it would be a Raphael." The film teams up, for one more...

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Funny story: Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

He's a nervous wreck these days, as he thinks unemployment could be looming. Sr. Cristina may want to be Pope, he's told friends, adding, "And she' a triple threat. She sings, she dances, she prays. And one more thing. She's Italian, which is...

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Funny story: Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...

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Funny story: Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

A fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," unveiled in 2012, shows no evidence of being a modern forgery, as some critics had charged, according to an article published in the Harvard Theological Review. The con...

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Funny story: Vatican Admits Existence of Nun Special Forces Unit

Vatican Admits Existence of Nun Special Forces Unit

VATICAN CITY, ROME - A spokesman for Vatican City finally admitted today that, yes, there is a special forces unit operating under the authority of the Holy See. The possible existence of the ecclesiastical unit came to light when an 84 year-old...

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Funny story: Virgin nun in Italy gives birth to baby boy; Jesus!

Virgin nun in Italy gives birth to baby boy; Jesus!

It seems as though the fairy story of the virgin Mary giving birth to Jesus could be true after all because in Italy a baby boy has been born under similar circumstances! A Nun in Rieti, Central Italy, claimed she had no idea she was pregnant and...

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Funny story: Italian nun gives birth to baby boy and names him Pope Francis

Italian nun gives birth to baby boy and names him Pope Francis

Reiti, Italy - (Ass Mess): A 31 year old nun from Reiti's Convent of the Immaculate Deception has named her baby boy Pope Francis after suddenly going into labor on the church's Feast of the Ass, a holy day of obligation. Sister Dolores Concepcion...

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Funny story: The Milwaukee Bucks - The NBA's Cellar Dwellers

The Milwaukee Bucks - The NBA's Cellar Dwellers

MILWAUKEE - Coach Larry Drew of the Milwaukee Bucks has said that he is sick and tired of his team having the worst record in the entire NBA. He pointed out that his team is 7-27, and that he has no idea what the heck is wrong with his Bucks team.

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Funny story: Slimy Siren Has Traded Her Tongue In On A Nun Habit

Slimy Siren Has Traded Her Tongue In On A Nun Habit

After years of playing the stupid little girl Horny Montoona for the demonic Dismal Network, and then overnight turning into a pornographic female version of Krampus the Christmas Demon and "twerking" up a tempest on stage for a few months, (Twerking...

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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Quits Music

Miley Cyrus Quits Music

Miley Cyrus, after receiving over 10,000 cards and letter 99% against her recent appearance on MTV, has decided to quit music, at least for now. Apparently, some 35 of her fan groups have split up also and are now looking for another in singing or...

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Funny story: Three Nuns Vow To Walk From Boston To Los Angeles To Prove That Nuns Are Not Lazy

Three Nuns Vow To Walk From Boston To Los Angeles To Prove That Nuns Are Not Lazy

BOSTON - Three nuns from St. Lobster's Church in Boston have stated that they are fed up with non-Catholic individuals saying that nuns are basically lazy. Sister Marie Bingo told National Focus Magazine reporter Durango Tucker that when she was i...

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Funny story: Boston Mayor Takes A Cheap Shot At Detroit

Boston Mayor Takes A Cheap Shot At Detroit

BOSTON - The mayor of Boston Thomas "Mumbles" Menino has just taken what has got to be one of the cheapest shots in the history of cheap shots. Mayor Menino speaking to a group of nuns in the parking lot of a local Silly Sardine Seafood Diner was...

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Funny story: Munch hunch as US-cloistered nun claims painter of 'The Scream' is her grandpa

Munch hunch as US-cloistered nun claims painter of 'The Scream' is her grandpa

London - A nun from the same Connecticut convent as David Cameron's ex-girlfriend Laura Adshead reckons she is a grand-daughter of Norwegian painter Edvard Munch. Surrey-born Janet Weber - aka Sister Mary Smorgasbord - is an Under-Prioress at the...

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