Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 21 October 2010

image for Katie Waissel Looking Like Gary Oldman In 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' Movie
A Terrifying Scene From A Vampire Movie. Possibly.

It isn't only the general public who have failed to take X-Factor fame junkie Katie Waissel to their hearts - now the nation's leading fashionistas are lining up to take a pop at the wannabe.

Following extensive media coverage, including paparazzi shots in the papers and on the net, many fashionistas have concluded that over the past few days, Katie Waissel has started to bear an almost uncanny resemblence to Gary Oldman, in scenes where he punked up the vampiric Count in the movie, 'Bram Stoker's Dracula.'

Fashion expert, Serendipity Moonlight Fingerfuck told Skoob Entertainment News:

"It's just a messy look innit. I mean, she's got the black roots, the beehive blonde hairdo, and all that. I mean, it's kinda retro, but it's not retro enough and that innit. She does look like Gary Oldman playing Dracula in that crappy old movie. But it just don't cut it. Girl got nix stylie innit. Wot she should have done was go for the Bela Lugosi look from the original Dracula. Wiv der velvet cape and the slicked back hair and the almost indecipherable Hungarian accent and that innit. Know wot ah mean? As it stands, she just looks like some sad eighties slapper aht on the pull in Wolverhampton or summink. No fahkin' clarss. She's gonna 'ave to up her game if she's gonna command respec. Don't matter who the fack's invested in her sorry arse."

Simone Cowbell was unavailable for comment.

Or even cement.

Bram Stoker, alias Abraham Stoker was an Irish play writer* and novelist. This should not be held against him.

*(Is it playwright or playwrite? Probably the former, but as I couldn't swear to it either way, it became play writer. Sorted. Ed.)

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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