Twilight 'Eclipse' Trailer Causes Net Meltdown

Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 11 March 2010

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Total Eclipse Of An Inverted Nipple

The internet release of the trailer for the third instalment in the Twilight series, Eclipse had technicians the world over working flat out to sustain internet services as an estimated 11 billion people tuned in to see where Rob Patz, K Stew, Tay Laut and company would be heading in the latest movie.

Newcomer Bryce Dallas Howard has taken over the role of Victoria, which came as something of a surprise because in press photographs Dallas Howard looks like a redhead, and Hollywood has tended to avoid redheads like the plague since the days of black and white films.

Or monochrome, as the experts call it.

Most services were kept going by technicians as the billions logged on to download the trailer, but services crashed for several hours in Latvia and Lithuania, and there was widespread downtime in Papua, New Guinea.

For mechanic Robert Pattinson of Cockfosters, London, UK the release of the trailer was a disaster, as he chose the exact same day to launch his website promoting his home tune up service, Twilight Tune Ups, which generated zero hits.

"I thought I was being a fly guy by changing my name by deed poll to Robert Pattinson," a disappointed Pattinson told us. "I thought the name would attract a lot of hits to the home tune up service website, but it seems I made a right bollocks of that one."

See the Twilight Eclipse trailer right now on: www.twilighttuneups.web

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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