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Funny story: Wanted: Young inexperienced Naïve Fool Java Programmer

Wanted: Young inexperienced Naïve Fool Java Programmer

San Francisco, CA - Want Add Wanted: young foolish inexperienced Java Programmer willing to work with Eclipse IDE. You’ll be paid handsomely in this position, (bending over or on your knees), enough to share a room with only five other guys, or whatever things they call the natives here. Experienced need not apply. We don’t want anyone smarter than the hiring manager since he is a fr...

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Funny story: Al Gore warns of a pending eclipse of the sun by the earth

Al Gore warns of a pending eclipse of the sun by the earth

UPDATE PRINT THROUGH Al Gore was found with his lips frozen to Obama’s anatomy late last night on a golf course in the Midwest, police report. The pair is expected to recover as soon as Global Warming hits. In the meantime they are headed to warm...

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Funny story: Tetrad news: Exodus 12 warned about Tuesday's bloody Passover eclipse

Tetrad news: Exodus 12 warned about Tuesday's bloody Passover eclipse

Israel - Tonight's Tetrad is the first of four eclipses mentioned in the Bible that warns about the time when Passover begins 'on the evening of the fourteenth day of the month' just as an apocalyptic blood-red eclipsed full moon wreaks havoc with t...

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Funny story: Bumper homegrown harvest brings Londoners austerity cheer

Bumper homegrown harvest brings Londoners austerity cheer

London - Annual domestic grass production has soared in the Capital this year thanks largely to the royal weeding, global warming and Pippa Middleton's arse (WTF?? - Ed). "It was all the eclipses that done it," an astrologically-aligned botanist f...

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Funny story: Swarming Summer Solstice bees swoop on Crown Estate

Swarming Summer Solstice bees swoop on Crown Estate

London - A massive killer bee colony that terrorised much of New York during last week's Lunar Eclipse has suddenly materialised in London. Millions of the angry insects congregated near the Apple Store in Regent Street, the flagship shopping mall...

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Funny story: Wednesday's solar eclipse threatens to scupper Queen's Derby hopes

Wednesday's solar eclipse threatens to scupper Queen's Derby hopes

London - Astrological glyphs for a sun/moon occultation have sprung up, crop circle-like, on Carlton House Terrace lawns ahead of Wednesday's Gemini solar eclipse. The 11 degrees Gemini phenomenon occurs at the best possible angle to the the plane...

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Funny story: Solar eclipse claims Shah of Persia son suicide

Solar eclipse claims Shah of Persia son suicide

Boston, Massachusetts - (Lunacies): Ten years ago an eclipsed full moon snaffled up the life of his drug addict sister Leila - in a seedy London hotel overdose. Today another powerful celestial aspect has seen the suicide of Alireza Pahlavi, young...

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Funny story: Moon Crashes Into Sun Then Disappears

Moon Crashes Into Sun Then Disappears

Horror in the UK this morning as astronomy call centres were swamped with calls relating that the the moon and the sun had actually collided within a minute of daybreak. There seems to be general agreement that the sun appears to have swallowed the m...

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Funny story: Queen could die from solar eclipse-related sunstroke say Palace quacks

Queen could die from solar eclipse-related sunstroke say Palace quacks

Sandringham, Norfolk - (Aneurysms): The imminent solar eclipse is playing havoc with the Queen, who has been diagnosed Whorse de Combat with congenital swine flu. Palace physicians fear her Circle of Wallis arteries at the base of the brain have b...

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Funny story: Massive chunk of Halley's Comet black opal orbiting eclipsed full moon

Massive chunk of Halley's Comet black opal orbiting eclipsed full moon

Area 51, Nevada - (Cool Yule News): NASA HQ sources said today a huge breakaway chunk of black opal from Halley's Comet has been detected orbiting the periphery of the moon. Its emergence comes ahead of the Winter Solstice lunar eclipse on Tuesd...

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Funny story: Illuminati dread at first winter solstice and total lunar eclipse since 1554!

Illuminati dread at first winter solstice and total lunar eclipse since 1554!

London - (Yule-Be-Sorry!): The mood is grim at Hellfire Club HQ ahead of Tuesday's solar ingress into Capricorn. Ancient files published this week describe the Illuminatis' rage of 1554 when some dimwit last dared leak their sordid secrets. The...

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Funny story: Occult ramifications of Asteroid Roma eclipse

Occult ramifications of Asteroid Roma eclipse

London - (Snake-in-the-Grass News): Hellfire Club grandees are hotfooting it to the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain tonight. Thursday's 21.57BST eclipse of the brightest star in the Ophihchus constellation 'could be really bad shit,' however, for...

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Funny story: Twilight stars beware! Gypsy asteroid Roma to eclipse snake-in-the-grass constellation's Hand of the Snake Charmer

Twilight stars beware! Gypsy asteroid Roma to eclipse snake-in-the-grass constellation's Hand of the Snake Charmer

Space - (Rattlesnake News): Terrible karmic portents for Twilight/Eclipse stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart! A rare occultation by the asteroid Roma on the night of 8th July will completely obliterate sight of Del­ta Ophi­uchi, fourth-br...

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Funny story: Eclipse Movie Release Heralds The Return Of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart And Taylor Lautner

Eclipse Movie Release Heralds The Return Of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart And Taylor Lautner

The release this week of the latest instalment in the Twilight saga, 'Eclipse' means that its youthful acting triumvirate of Pattinson, Stewart, and Lautner look set to take over the media yet again, for some time to come. Whilst this is undoubted...

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Funny story: Twilight 'Eclipse' Trailer Causes Net Meltdown

Twilight 'Eclipse' Trailer Causes Net Meltdown

The internet release of the trailer for the third instalment in the Twilight series, Eclipse had technicians the world over working flat out to sustain internet services as an estimated 11 billion people tuned in to see where Rob Patz, K Stew, Tay La...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Complain To Spoof Admin

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Complain To Spoof Admin

The rumour mills here at Skoob Towers cranked into overdrive today following intimations that Twilight stars Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were considering legal action against the Administrator of your favourite Spoofy news website, based on the...

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Funny story: Queen tickled by Illuminati prediction that Friday's eclipse 'is terminal'

Queen tickled by Illuminati prediction that Friday's eclipse 'is terminal'

Sandringham House - (Rioters): "Hahaha, bet you fifty squid I'll live to 100!" But Old Fatty Mountbatten's confident riposte today has seen Hellfire Club astrologers rush to their online Ephemeris tables to check for the Doomsday Alignment in HM'...

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