Written by Bureau

Thursday, 11 March 2010

image for Kristen Stewart: Pattinson, Lautner Will Cause Me To Have A Heart Attack

Actress Kristen Stewart says that between the two of them, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner will be the death of her.

"I want the guys to know that I can 'take it' and that I appreciate jokes and having fun but between the Twilight movies and this maid, they have fixed for me, I'm going to go nuts."

Apparently Stewart's neighbors have heard screams from her apartment and called the police so many times she's finally had an apartment party and introduced them to the reason for the screams.

"It's a robot from Japan that my fans over there have sent to me and I really really like her as she can do a lot of stuff around here. But the guys had to go and mess with her."

Apparently, when Kristen showed the guys the robot they were both curious and had a lot of fun with it.

"But then Taylor says they wanted to fix her face up better and I left them up here for an all-day session on the Joan Jett thing and when I came back I gave my first of many screams."

What the renters of one of the other apartments told our reporters was that they had both rushed over to Kristen's apartment, but she opened the door a little and told them she was fine.

"What those two idiots did was to turn MY robot into the "Mother" on that old Psycho movie, and then left it here for me to turn the lights on and see the thing."

"That's it", she told this, and several other reporters. "I now live with Norman Bates 'Mother' and every once in awhile I'll see it and scream...but a lot less as time goes on."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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