In a bombshell announcement made earlier today, sources close to the UK's singing sensation Susan Boyle have confirmed that the singer is now engaged to be married - to Bigfoot.
Bigfoot, the elusive and reclusive monster of North America's woodlands, has dazzled the entertainment business for years as one of cryptozoology's most eligible bachelors. The 8-foot tall, 600 pound monster has dated such Hollywood notables as Susan Sarandon, Britney Spears, and for some reason Dennis Rodman. However, the bipedal humanoid's engagement to SuBo has taken the entertainment industry by storm.
"Sasquatch love SuBo," Bigfoot told reporters. "She sing nice and have bigger uni-brow than me. Also, will be nice to have partner with feet as big as Bigfoot's!"
The engagement, while coming rather suddenly, has really come as no surprise, since the two celebrities bear such a strong resemblance to one another. Relatives of Bigfoot have voiced concerns about any possible children the couple may have, particularly since SuBo is nowhere near as attractive as Sasquatch.
Not everyone is thrilled about the impending union. Members of Sasquatch Watch of Virginia were camping in the rugged Allegheny Mountain highlands of the Dolly Sods Wilderness Area when the announcement was made.
"We're not thrilled," said Bigfoot researcher Clyde Toker. "He's clearly not thinking about the effect this could have on his image. He should at least aim for somebody who's more his body-type, like Bruce Jenner."
Despite the naysayers, the happy couple are expected to pick a date later this week. It is assumed they will honeymoon in the woods of British Columbia, where the couple can spend a lovely week eating pine cones, picking lice off each other, and frightening lumberjacks.
