HOLLYWOOD - The president of the Republic of Mexico Nacho Winslow has demanded an investigation into why two of the 24 American Idol finalists who are of Mexican descent were the first to be eliminated from the reality show.
President Winslow said that he saw the show and remarked that Joe Muñoz was much better than that Chinese guy and one of the black guys. He went on to say that Ashley Rodriguez was better than that hillbilly girl and one of the black girls.
A spokesperson for American Idol asked the president of Mexico if maybe he wasn't a little bit prejudice against blacks, Asians, or rednecks.
Winslow said "Nopers." He then noted that one of his nieces had a hip hop band play at her quinceañera down in Oaxaca two years ago.
He also noted that his granddaughter Millicenta Salma Winslow has two CD's by Alicia Keys, one by Beyonce, and one by that microphone stealing punk-ass Kanye West.
President Winslow was informed that a lot of time singing talent has nothing to do with whether a contestant goes home or not. Many times it comes down to how many relatives, friends, and McDonald's co-workers a particular singer has.
Simon Cowell pointed out to the president two perfect examples. Cowell who is known as "The Baron of Bitterness" said that some years ago Ruben Studdard beat out Clay Aiken.
Cowell noted that everyone, even Ruben, knew that Aiken was the better singer, but what ended up happening was that Ruben's mother voted for her son a total of 37,981 times. Whereas Clay's mother voted for her son one time, like most normal, law-abiding, civilized people.
Another more recent example was last year when Kris Allen beat out the highly-favored Adam Lambert. In fact Las Vegas was giving 10 to 1 odds that Lambert would win. Unnamed sources revealed that even Kris Allen bet on Lambert.
But when it came down to voting, everyone in Arkansas was paid by the state at the rate of 15 cents per vote to vote for Kris who ended up winning.
That decision has since been reversed and Lambert has now been named the 2009 American Idol winner.
President Winslow expressed his thanks to Mr. Cowell and invited him to come down to Mexico and spend some time as his personal guest at his 70,000 acre ranch located outside of Cabo San Lucas.
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