The HNN (Henman News Network) has uncovered a dark skeleton in the filthy closet of TheSpoof.com editor and administrator Mark Lowton. It has been uncovered the Lowton has a crippling fear of buttons, and is utterly disgusted at the site of one.
When asked about her sons phobia, Momma Lowton told the HNN her little baby Marky is terrified and disgusted by plastic buttons - he thinks they're "dirty, nasty, and wrong." At first I thought he was just joking - messing with my head like you spoofists do, but when I started to push him on the subject, he got very upset - almost hysterical. He doesn't even like to say the word button. He'll even put asteriks over certain letters when typing it (b***ons). I hope there is someone out there who can help my baby.
When Mark the button phobic himself was asked about his phobia, as usual he had alot to say.
Ever since I was a child, I detested those awkward disgusting little plastic creatures. I could not come near my dad when he put on a shirt to go to work. It was ok, when the buttons were covered by his tie, but mind you if one button was peering out of there. I would cringe and run.
Behaviour experts say Mark is just one of millions of Americans who suffer from button phobia, but sadly there is no cure. So for now, people like Mark will be confined to a life of zip-up shirts and velcro.
Henman
