People Magazine Issues Best Dressed, Worst Dressed and Other Lists

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 16 September 2007

People Magazine has issued their annual best and worst dressed list and the same names dominate both. This year, however, they have added a new category to their issue: Least Dressed. Rob Taylor, public relations director for the magazine's Los Angeles office, issued the following statement:

"In these times of wardrobe malfunctions and nip slips, we felt that it was necessary to add another category. Since this one tends to be the most commonly tracked on one the internet, we'll incorporate these pictures into our website
and generate more views."

Coming in at number one on the list was, of course, Britney Spears. "We felt that she earned this with all of her activity in the last year," said Taylor. "Does she actually have an inch of skin we haven't seen, from the top of her chrome dome to lower Brazilian style shaved parts to her expanding backside, she's shown us everything this year."

Number two, three, and four were the girls of American Idol, Alaina Alexander, Shyamali Malakar, and Antonella Barba. "Sure, they were all amatuer porn shots, but we all saw them. It actually added some interest to a boring show."

Spot number five went to Paris Hilton. The sixth spot went to Miss Nevada. Seventh place was taken by Lindsay Lohan "who has more nip slips than a baby bottle in a toddler's mouth."

The eighth place went to newcomer Vanessa Hudgens of the High School Musical films, who showed that "even Disney actresses can get naked on the net."

The other two spots on the list were taken by Claire Danes, who had a recent wardrobe malfunction at a Walk of Fame star unveiling, and Mike Myers. "Mike has his ass hanging out in every movie he makes. We don't know if he did it or not this year, but we've seen his hairy cheeks so many times we just had to include them."

An honorable mention, The Charmin Bear, who wags his naked butt in the television commercials, was also on the list. "We've never seen anything covering that bare ass, and he's always about the take a dump, so it's just too disgusting for our tastes (and everyone knows that we at People Magazine have little taste anyways)."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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