Vanessa Hudgens to be the new face of Estee Lauder tampons

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 15 September 2007

New York - (Ass-related Press): The House of Lauder is recruiting High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens on a $5 million, two year contract to be the face (sic!) of its newly launched Estee Lauder Tampon.

The new Lauder Juicy Plug will be marketed to 11-18 year olds with a TV and billboard campaign featuring the dark eyed Disney smash-hit beauty.

Hudgens' meteoric rise to fame is attributed to her posing spreadeagled and naked bar a strategically positioned tub of Haagen Daz Cherry Garcia, playfully enticing closer inspection of her stunning, eighteen-year-old hidden recesses on the internet last weekend.

Clearly somebody at Lauder Cosmetics must have been smitten because within hours of the Hudgens pictures appearing on appreciation societies' websites a modelling contract was rushed through.

A company statement today said that Lauder is diversifying into women's sanitary wear "after finding the right photogenic ass, face! at last."

"Read that as 'the best telegenic snatch' after that bare-assed video," one blogsite pundit commented today.

Lauder, a cosmetics brand-leader for a generation, has become synonymous with glamorous face creams, moisturisers and lotions.

But their market profile changed suddenly this year when a Cosmopolitan magazine readers' survey identified their facial products as being women's favorite KY Jelly substitute 'in an emergency.'

"We can never officially promote these expensive women's facial rejuvenation lotions as fanny juice," a PR said today.

"But branching out into tampons with the lovely Vanessa to promote our branded Juicy Plugs could be just the winning formula we have been looking for!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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