Dick Cheney Admits He Is Gay

Written by Evan Essence

Saturday, 15 September 2007

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Oooh Jeesus Chriiist

Startling observers on both sides of the Isles, Vice President Dick Cheney, on Tuesday, announced that he was 'Coming out of the Closet' and admitting that he is gay.

Cheney, who is best known on Capitol Hill, for snarling and snorting, and rarely saying a word, has admitted that the ultra macho image that he presents is only a cover for his real, deeply effeminate character.

Scientists have long noted that sexual preference among animals is genetically determined. Fruitflys have a natural genetic preference for homosexual orientation, and scientists say that 19% of mallard ducks are gay.

Research scientists have often speculated that since Dick Cheney's daughter, Mary, is gay, she may have inherited her genes for homosexuality from her father.

Tuesday's announcement is the first corroboration that they have that Dick Cheney's dark macho character cloaks a deeper more feminine personna.

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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