LAREDO, Texas - (Spoof News) - Reality TV star and fashion mogul Kim Kardashian has surprised everyone with her latest purchase - a sprawling ranch in Texas named Rancho El Grandisimo. The twist? She's not alone. Kardashian is said to have bought the ranch with her new boyfriend, the famed Mexican matador Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho.
Sources close to the couple say that Kardashian has been a fan of Gazpacho's bullfighting career for years, and the two hit it off when they met at a pro-am bullfighting event in Mexico last year.
Rancho El Grandisimo, once owned by Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short after they made a lasting friendship on the set of The Three Amigos, is known for its vast lands and exotic animals, including a rare breed of longhorn cattle, deer, and even rhinos.
The three amigos used to hold legendary parties at the ranch, where they would dress up in their sombreros and serapes and dance the night away to mariachi music.
Local folklore has it that chupacabra has been spotted roaming around the ranch. Gazpacho says he's not afraid of the mythical beast, boasting, "I've faced down the fiercest bulls in the ring, this pissant chupacabra doesn't scare me!"
Kardashian, known for her glamorous lifestyle, is now eager to try her hand at country living. "I can't wait to ride horses, learn some bullfighting moves from Joaquin, and maybe even try milking a bull," she said.
SIDENOTE: It's been rumored that there's a secret underground bunker on the ranch where the three amigos used to hide from paparazzi. Kardashian and Gazpacho are said to be planning to renovate the bunker and turn it into a "bullfighting" dungeon, complete with Joaquin's leather bullfighting gear.
