A robot dinosaur in the Jurassic Park display at Disneyland has eaten three children!
Ron DeSantis couldn’t be reached for comment, but a spokesperson for his office said that “Those children had been groomed by drag performers, so the dinosaur was just acting like a good Christian.”
The ride was put out of commission for a short time, in order to clean the mess of blood and limbs and Mickey Mouse ears, but then was put back into operation for the whole family to enjoy.
And then the dinosaur killed three more and, though it wasn’t programmed to speak and had no robot vocal cords, it said, “Still hungry …. grrrrr …”
Disneyland security guards tried to shoot and/or throw a net over the Tyrannosaurus Rex, but it couldn’t be stopped, going on a rampage across the amusement park, eating more children and their parents.
The spokesperson went on to say: “All those families were gay people who had been trying to take over good old fashioned apple pie America, so the T. Rex was just acting like a good Republican. We figure his belly with eventually get full and then he’ll stop eating and have a nap. Then we’ll tranquilize him.”
Only in Florida! It is believed that DeSantis will give the T.Rex a job in his cabinet when he becomes the next American president.
