WICHITA, Kansas - (Spoof News) - The state that is known for the best sorghum muffins in the country has announced that effective at 12:01 am tomorrow, the use of the word "Bitch" in the state's pole dancing lounges will not be allowed.
The Kansas Senate voted by a margin of 54 to 41, with 5 senators choosing not to vote. One senator, named Hannah Vannah McOompah, a Republican from Sour Cream, Kansas, stated that she has a granddaughter who works as a pole dancer at Wichita's "The Flying Tits Lounge."
She (Sen. McOompah) is sick and tired of hearing from Mitzi (her granddaughter) that drunken, low-life, worthless assholes yell out vulgar things like, "Hey, suck my salami, bitch," "My oh my, that is one pretty beaver you've got, bitch," and "Marry me, bitch, I make $17 an hour."
