LAS VEGAS, Nevada – (Satire News) – A 19-year-old resident of Austin, Texas has just captured the 1st Annual United States Amateur Pole Dancing Contest.
BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx, who attended the dancing gala held at The Cleopatra’s Barge Resort and Casino, commented that a total of 97 contestants participated in the unique event.
She added that the girls represented every state, except for Alabama. It’s rumored that the Alabama amateur pole dancer had prior commitments, something to do with an arrest warrant.
The winner of the event was Staci Jo Leggatino, an extremely gorgeous and erotically sexy hazel-eyed blonde, who attends Texas University and is majoring in Female Orgasms with a minor in Cattle Branding.
Out of the 7 judges, all of them gave her top marks and one judge, Buck “Bubba” Zippweather, offered Miss Leggatino a job working as a professional pole dancer at his nightclub, The Happy Tits & Ass Lounge in New Orleans, Louisiana.
Miss Kixx interviewed Staci Jo, after the event, and asked her if she has a boyfriend. She smiled and replied that her boyfriend recently broke up with her so she is definitely looking for a new one.
[PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Looking at Staci Jo’s photo, I’d have to say that her ex-boyfriend has got to be the dumbest, stupidest SOB in the entire state of Texas.]
