MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The Miami Globe-Gazette Newspaper reports that federal agents from the FBI recently conducted a pre-dawn raid on Trump's Mar-a-Lago complex.
Agent in charge Clayburn D. Ryburn told the news media that agents confiscated another 4,000 secret US documents that had no business being in Trump's home.
Agent Ryburn spoke with Jefferson Sierra with The Globe-Gazette, and informed him that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump still insists that he is above the law and that as such, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.
The federal raiders also found a life-size and very life-like-looking Barbie doll that had been stashed underneath Trump's bed.
Agents placed the realistic-as-hell looking doll in a plastic haz-mat container and will ship it to FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C. where it will be checked for the former Golfer-in-Chief's DNA.
SIDENOTE: Several of the agents noted that the doll had the word's "Ivanka Trump" written in red Sharpie pen ink on her ass.
