Ron DeSantis doesn’t like Santa Claus, that fat jolly old elf who likes to dress up like some kinda drag whore LGBTLQANONXXX or whatever the hell they wanna call themselves – and have children sit on his lap!
Hell no! Not in Florida, where the bikini and the melanoma suntan are king.
Various Santas, big and small, were seen lying on the beach with their bellies open and burning, greased by coconut oil, scratching their balls, wondering what kind of presents to give all the “good” boys and girls.
Well, Santa – or should we say, SATAN! – how do you define who is good and not good? Sounds a little too Trump-esque, yes?
Ronny DeSantis says that when he is president and inviting heads of state to his own Mar-A-Lago, things are gonna change.
“No more Satan Claus! No more Halloween devil worship! All holidays which do not proclaim the might and majesty of America or Jesus will be banned forever from American soil. And we’re getting rid of too many days for veterans. They fight for this country once and they think we own them a couple days! You’ll get ONE and like it!” DeSantis yelled into a face of a World War 2 veteran who couldn’t reply because the Japanese had cut out his tongue in their bamboo POW camp.
From the pot to the kettle … without Trump, there will always be a Trump … a fat old elf ogling teenagers in their Florida bikinis, offering to slather their bodies in oil.
Get your DeSantis trading cards, coming soon, only $99.95 – going fast, get them while you can, see Ron as “Santa” handing out AR-15s to all the “good” boys and girls.
