I tried a new gym the other day and saw Ron DeSantis on the bench press. I went up and asked if he was a member, and after staring at my crotch for a solid thirty seconds, he said, “Yeah, I pump. I pump hard. See my lats and delts and pecs? T…
Opponents of a Republican assault on the Disney Company, the largest employer in the Sunshine State, warn the legislation is grooming children to pay higher taxes. “Florida Republicans got mad at Disney, and took revenge because the mouse roared i…
Ron DeSantis, fresh from a spring visit to a Sunshine State beach, told reporters that he has undergone “red-light testicle tanning”. The procedure, endorsed by Fox News host Tucker Carlson, reportedly helps men drive up their testosterone count, ma…
Public school students from across the nation overwhelmed a “Woke Hotline” during the first days of operation, according to sources who back the project. The hotline, with a toll-free phone number, was established by the Republican National Commit…
TALLAHASSEE — Dec. 9, 2022 — Thousands of Florida voters who died from Covid-19 were lifelong Republicans who consistently voted in primaries and general elections before the novel Coronavirus killed them and therefore were entitled to have their pos…
A leaked video selfie from the Trump Presidential Compound at Mar-a-Lago reveals how much pain Donald John Trump feels over his complex and evolving relationship with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis. He details every step of their political alliance in the…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider, who wishes to remain anonymous, has just let it leak, that POTUS called a meeting of his closest, most trusted advisors about the situation in Florida. The insider told Pico de Gallo, with…
Tallahassee, Florida - Florida Governor Ron DeSantis today signed a new law creating a private military force that will operate under his rule. “This law creates the Florida Freedom Fighters,” said DeSantis. “I alone will direct this elite fightin…
It’s more than a case of denial or ignorance, Florida's Governor Ron DeSantis must know better (unless he’s a certified moron), but he has his eye on the White House. He seems to think that by agreeing with Donald Trump’s message of the Lysol and Clo…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – The young folks in the Plywood State said that they needed to have their suntans, and now thousands of them have much more than just darker skin. The Sunshine State Federation of Doctors told Governor Ron DeSantis that he ne…
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