WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Cloud 9 News Agency reporter Lexi Aspen has just commented that Sen. Kyrsten Sinema, of the hot-as-hell state of Arizona, has joined the ranks of assholes like Joe Manchin as she has switched her party affiliation from Democrat to Independent.
The 46-year-old dishwater blonde, who actually looks 66, due to crow's feet, varicose veins, spider veins, tattoos, and cellulite has just become the most hated low-life bitch in D.C.
Sinema, whose last name rhymes with the word "Bitch" denies that she has inverted nipples, but information guru, Andy Cohen notes that he has seen nude photos of the traitor - and her nips are definitely inverted.
Miss Aspen reports that even Kyrsten's own mother Daffalina Fluxx, 79, said of her ugly-ass daughter, "Kyrsten has always acted like she is on her fucking period 24/7. I am seriously thinking of taking her fat ass out of my will and leaving all of my $3.7 million to the Democratic Party." ■
