NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Sarah Ferguson, the 56-year-old Duchess of York, has had a sudden resurgence in her business career.
The woman who had her toe sucked by a Texas millionaire and appeared in publications all over the world informed Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle that she has just signed to appear in a commercial for The Sherwood Forest Bikini Hair Removal System.
Originally Sofia Vergara was to have appeared in the bikini commercial, but she was in her native Colombia, visiting an ex-boyfriend, Hernando Fernando Casa Grande who is a professional bullfighter.
Fergie told Miss Fiddle that her most recent ex-boyfriend, Piers Morgan still texts her about 7.3 times a day begging her to take his sarcastic, arrogant, pompous 57-year-old ass back.
SIDENOTE: The flaming red head says that she'll take Morgan's conceited ass back when the Trumptard stops being a predatorial racist - which is effing never.