COPENHAGEN, Denmark - (Satire News) - The erotically sexy British actress who appeared in such excitingly exciting films as "Bedazzled," "The Miniscule Midget," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me," "Frazzled," and the X-rated "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Fingered Me," wants to set the fucking record straight.
Lizzy, as her 20-year-old son Damian Dalrymple Hurley, calls his sexually delicious-as-the-dickens mommy, wants to put a stop once and for all of the viciously vicious rumors that the Brit twit known as Simon Cowell fathered her handsome stud-of-a-son (DD).
Hurley was in Copenhagen checking out some of the latest sexy toys, when she told a reporter for Boom Boom News (Denmark) that she has never met the sarcastic, bombastic, arrogant black T-shirt wearing mean, cruel wanker (to use a term that is very popular in Manchester and Liverpool).
The famous skimpy bikini swimsuit wearing Lizzy, who is 56, but looks 26, said that yes, it's true that sometimes Cowell texts her up to 13 times a day, but she adds that she has never even been in the same room with the unibrowed bloke.
SIDENOTE: Hurley added that she would rather boink a coal miner in Wales, who is covered from head to toe with fucking coal dust, than to even let simple Simon kiss her roseb*d.