NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Madison Cawthorn traveled up to the "Big Apple" to see about getting liposuction on his left breast, which is twice as big as his right breast.
Maddy, as his high school badminton coach called him, said that ever since he was in the cub scouts, he noticed that one of his breasts was much larger than the other.
He revealed that his mother told him that maybe he should take female hormones (Estrogenosha) so that he would have two big, gigantic knockers.
Little Maddy did, but he was disappointed, when the only thing that happened was that his gonads (balls) turned into ovaries.
And now comedian Zydeco Dupree has revealed that he heard from Andy Cohen that Madison has a big time crush on Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
Mom (Mrs. Cawthorn), was thrilled, but Madison's dad, his three brothers, and various uncles thought that Maddy was fulfilling his life-long dream of becoming a bitch, a real bitch with tits, long fingernails, and a nipple ring.
SIDENOTE: Anderson Cooper has stated on his show that Maddy Cawthorn isn't a bad looking split-tail (girl).