MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The man, who is without a doubt the most hated person in the entire country, (Donald Trump), recently went in to have 93 pounds of fat-as-hell belly fat tissue removed by way of his anal cavity (i.e. asshole).
Doctor's report that the butt hole procedure was a sucess and the Trumptard has gone down from 401 pounds to 308 pounds.
But as Melania stated to Ivanka Trump, "Jur daddy he steel looks fooking fat as chit."
Ivanka reportedly started crying and said that if she was her daddy's wife she would kiss him on the mouth at least a dozen times a day.
To which Melly replied, "Ivy, ju are one berry, berry seek enddabeejewel."
Ivanka took a sip of her diet water and commented that her daddykins never really liked her (Melania), and that he just wanted to have a trophy wife, with a hideously awful Slovenian accent, to show off to all of his GOP ass-kissers.
Melania then grabbed Ivanka's pony tail and swung her around three times, finally tossing her on the floor.
Ivanka got up and ran out of the room screaming like a crazed banshee that she had been molested by a friggin illegal Slovenian immigrant. ■
