WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Information guru Andy Cohen has just revealed that a group of Taliban terrorists actually kidnapped Cong. Marjorie Taylor Green from a local Jack-in-the-Box.
Their intention was to demand $1.8 million from the US government. But Cohen, who actually spoke to one of the Taliban kidnappers, said that MTG started talking and going on, and on, and on, about President Biden, VP Harris, Robert De Niro, her ex-boyfriend Matt Gaetz, Putin's invasion of the Ukraine, that freaky-looking Tucker Carlson, and that weasel-faced Greg Gutfeld.
So after about 10 minutes, of what one of the kidnappers called "Absolute hellacious hell" they decided to dump her ass because they were all so fucking stressed out at having to listen to the fake blonde bitch from the depths of hell, it self.
Meanwhile, the Trumptard (aka Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump) told Sean Hannity that he warned four of the biggest terrorist groups about kidnapping a loud-mouthed, racist, bigoted, slutdog like Marje the Barge, as comedian Zydeco Dupree has pegged her. ■
