WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Information guru Andy Cohen has just revealed that a group of Taliban terrorists actually kidnapped Cong. Marjorie Taylor Green from a local Jack-in-the-Box. Their intention was to demand $1.8 million from the US…
Fans of the 'Taken' movies will be interested to learn that the fourth film in the series, 'Taken 4: A Ride' will be released into cinemas a week on Monday, 9 November, or 9/11. Liam Neeson once again plays Bryan Mills, the former CIA operative wh…
Denver, CO [PP] -- Police and paramedics responded to what had to be their most unusual kidnapping case. A man who had not opened his refrigerator door in more than two years had the shock of his life. When he finally got around to opening the refrig...
In a stranger than fiction planned pre-emptive strike against radicalised Syrian terrorist hamsters, "Stealth" (or "invisible" hamsters) will be deployed to hunt and destroy war gerbils, white assassin mice and suicide bombing laboratory rats on the...
In 1973, psychiatrist Nils Bejerot published the result of his studies: Stockholm Syndrome. The studies disclosed a disturbing result: emotional "bonding" between the captives and the captors in a hostage taking situation. At a bank in Stockholm, two-machine-gun-carrying criminals took hostage four people, three women and one man, for 131 hours. In 1974, Patricia Campbell Hearst, 19, was kidnap...
Notorious for his defiance of laws requiring tax for grazing cattle on federal lands, Mr. Cliven Bundy has advanced rapidly toward leadership in world affairs. Mr. Bundy is now offering to help United States military operations in special circumst...
SOCHI, RUSSIA - Despite threats from Russian police authorities to imprison the mysterious "Olga from Volga", one of the two female kidnappers of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, she is headed down the aisle instead. At a press conference today,...
SOCHI, RUSSIA - Police authorities in Sochi have announced that Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano were released by their elusive, female Russian kidnappers early this morning. Kenny and Vic, who were kidnapped several nights ago by two Volga women,...
SOCHI, RUSSIA - Police authorities in Sochi confirmed that Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano are being held captive by two Volga Women, one of which only identified herself as "Olga from Volga". Kenny and Vic were last seen in the vicinity of the V...
LONDON - Scotland Yard has reported that they have uncovered a political plot by the infamous Taliban to kidnap Camilla Parker Bowles, wife of Prince Charles. Officer Higgins Higginbrook speaking to Chatsworth Wigginholt of The Ta Ta For Now News...
The christening of Prince George at St James's Palace in London was brought to a halt this afternoon when a Gypsy ran up to the baptismal font and snatched the infant Prince George from the arms of his mother, the Duchess of Cambridge. Before the...
CLEVELAND - There is probably no one in the United States of America who has not seen the video of Cleveland's Charles Ramsey explaining his role in rescuing Amanda Berry, her daughter, and the other two girls who were held captive by a crazy mad man...
NEW YORK CITY - The American Spotlight News Agency is reporting that a plot to kidnap North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been foiled. The New York City based news agency stated that one of its North Korean correspondents identified as Foo "Timmy"...
A New Orleans, Louisiana grandma, 67 year old Anna Flakes, joyfully told a group of arresting officers that her experience of having been abducted, fitted with a live bomb and forced to rob a bank was the most fun she has ever had in her entire life.
During the filming of the second series of her TV show Jo Brand's Big Splash Jo Brand was captured by a bull seal just off the coast of Orkney. "It was very exciting," said Brand after she was rescued. "Not." Jo Brand was attempting to swim fro...
Gilad Schalit, the young Israeli soldier released by Hamas on Tuesday in exchange for one thousand Palestinian prisoners, has revealed that he is living in fear of repeat kidnap attempts, not only from Hamas, but also from groups such as Al Qaeda.
PHILADELPHIA - Police are looking for a man whose been running the streets snatching people's smartphones and stealing them while left unattended. Victims of the crime have pleaded for people to help catch the guy 'wearing a big jacket with the Germa...
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