WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Cloud 9 News Agency has just reported that Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has decided to sell her entire gun collection, which consists of 117 hand guns, 83 semi-automatic weapons, 29 shotguns, 13 derringers, 6 rocket launchers, 5 grenade launchers, and 2 b b guns.
C9 reporter Lexi Aspen spoke with Taylor Greene, who told her she has just finally realized that she doesn’t need that many guns, since as shock jock Howard Stern has pointed out on more than 17 occasions, there isn’t an adult male in the entire nation; including Alabama, who would even remotely think about sexually assaulting MTG, who many have remarked makes an inflamed hemorrhoid look cute.
Meanwhile, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump told his BFF Sean Hannity, that he has never boinked, or even thought about boinking Taylor Greene, who he said is so ugly she is definitely a three-bagger.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: The expression three-bagger refers to a woman being so damn ugly that a man would have to put three plastic bags or paper bags over her head in order to engage in sexualized intercourse.]
