Jussie Smollett Is Found Guilty And Is Headed For The Iron Bar Hotel (Prison)

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 10 December 2021

image for Jussie Smollett Is Found Guilty And Is Headed For The Iron Bar Hotel (Prison)
These are just some of the counterfeit $100 bills that police found in Jussie's underwear drawer.

CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Actor Jussie Smollett was found guilty of printing up counterfeit $100 bills, as well as harboring parrots that were illegally smuggled into the United States from Peru.

The actor said that it was all just a case of mistaken identity. He commented that since he’s worth about $41.7 million, why in the world would he go to the trouble of getting his fingers full of ink just to print up counterfeit money.

One of Jussie’s ex-girlfriends, Quantanella Felicia Boxx, stated that Jussie is even a bigger germaphobe than Howie Mandel, who is obsessive as shit.

She went on to say that Jussie is such a neat freak that he arranges his socks in alphabetical order.

Quanti, as Jussie and Anderson Cooper call her, revealed that the actor is such a cleanliness freak that he even puts spray-on deodorant in his ears, on his toes, and even in his anal cavity.

SIDENOTE: Tucker Carlson remarked that Smollett plans to appeal the decision on grounds of Habeas Ipso Facto Insanity 101.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more