MOOSE PENIS, Canada – (Satire News) – Two sisters from Vancouver, who have never, ever had a date, have just had their luck turned completely around.
Willona and Papsina Giggenstick purchased a single lottery ticket at the Happy Harlot Sex Toy Shoppe.
Papsina, scratched off a total of 14 numbers that matched the 14 numbers that were the key numbers.
The clerk at the shoppe said that the two homely sisters got so excited that they both peed on the floor.
When she told them that they would have to get a mop and mop up their urinistic mess, Willona told her to shut the fuck up.
Papsina yelled at the arrogant slut that they could now buy the damn shoppe and fire every bitch and bastard in the place.
SIDENOTE: Willona says that since winning the $83 million she has had a total of 2,904 marriage proposals and Papsina has had 2,982.
