NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The rumors that J.Lo is expecting have been swirling around since Labor Day, (no pun intended – well maybe).
Alpha Beta News Agency reporter Mimosa Sabrosa, caught up with the singer, dancer, actress at a Burger Bandit in the Bronx.
Ms. Lopez was dressed in a New York Knicks jersey, Daisy Duke short shorts, and 6-inch imported Italian stiletto heels.
She blushed when Miss Sabrosa asked her point blank if she was pregnant.
J.Lo replied that the rumor first started in Detroit, when she was seen sitting in her Lamborghini eating four pickles which she was dipping in a 32-ounce bowl of double vanilla ice cream.
She did admit that since Thanksgiving she has gained 7¼ ounces, but noted that it was what she calls turkey dressing weight.
SIDENOTE: J.Lo did point out that she and boyfriend Ben Affleck, at times, in the heat of passion, will forget to use a condom, but she giggled as she said that at the age of 52, her inseminatorial ovaries have long since sailed on the USS Menopause.
