STATEN ISLAND, New York – (Satire News) – The woman who was once considered “The Queen of Trump’s Network,” aka Fox, is now reduced to being somewhat of a chambermaid-in-waiting.
Megyn Kelly, who was once the Trumptard’s sparring partner, is reportedly quite depressed at no longer being up in the home screen limelight.
Ex-fellow Foxer, Bill “Wandering Body Parts” O’Reilly reportedly texted Meggy and said that it’s amazing how one day you can be at the top of Mt. Kilamanjaro, and the next day you’re languishing and slithering in the putrid, smelly depths of the Brooklyn sewer system.
Kelly texted the arrogantly sarcastic Bill-O back and said, “You know Billy boy, every day after I get out of the shower, I look in my full-length mirror and I see a woman's body that is still hot, still gorgeously sexy, and still 100% cellulite-free, unlike the bodies of the women you date!"
Meanwhile, both Galavision and the Waffle Wars Network have passed on Ms. Kelly. No word as yet from Univision.
