RIO DE JANIERO, Brazil – (Satire News) – The Brazilian government is extremely concerned at the dwindling numbers of tourists visiting Brazil, which they partially are blaming on the Trumpapalooza Pandemic.
A spokesperson stated that in an effort to get the numbers back up, they have decided to make every beach in the country 100% nude; including the famed Las Abuelas Beach, which caters to females 65 and over.
Poll experts say that once this directive is put into effect, there is no doubt that visitors from America, England, France, and Macadamia will return in droves; especially horny-as-hell single and divorced males between the ages of 18 and 70.
Meanwhile, local Brazilian women, are getting every intimate part of their bodies waxed as well as having surgery to remove unsightly cellulite.
One intimate body part doctor said that patients have already scheduled over 200 appointments with him to have their muffins (beavers) tightened, as well as having their breasts enhanced and made to once-again look supple, perky, and gorgeously sexy-as-hell. ■
