PILGRIM MUSKET, Massachusetts - (Satire News) – Friends and family members of Loretta Libbensteen, 32, have always said that there was just something about her that made her stand out over all the other girls.
One of Loretta’s closest friends used to say than she had more boyfriends than any other girl at Pilgrim Musket High School, where she was the head cheerleader, president of the student council, and all around easy lay.
She was given the nickname, Loretta the Amazing, by one of her paternal uncles.
Loretta, at the age of 24, actually had a little red book that listed everyone of her 73 erogenous zones.
One of her college boyfriends, Tyler Ticklebush, noted that most girls he dated had 3 or 4 erogenous zones, but Loretta had well over 5 dozen.
Tyler noted that she was the only girl he ever dated that actually had a photo of herself, in the nude, with everyone of her 73 E-zones circled in red.
He recalls that Loretta used to call her erogenous zones her “Happy Spots.”
When asked which of her 73 erogenous zones was her favorite, Loretta paused for about 2 seconds and remarked, the one located about an inch and a half below her “Perry.”
[PUBLISHER’S NOTE: I looked the word “Perry” up and I found that it is a euphemism for perineum].
