NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Daily Drama reporter Cinderella St. Lamb, has just broken the Trump story of the season!
The highly-reputable DNA collecting firm, which is based in Kalamazoo, Michigan, Yep Dat Be Your Squigglies Alright, has confirmed that the ex-occupant of the White House DJT, has just learned that on top of Don Jr., Eric, and Barron, the old “Pussy Grabber,” himself, now has four more sons he did not know he had.
The four newly discovered Trump sons are Bubba, Cletus, Peckler, and Bubba.
The Trumptard is of course denying that the four creepos (his word), came from his ample loins, but as they say in Michigan, DNA tests don’t lie – Now DJT will lie out of his orange-colored ass, but DNA tests no sir, no ma’am!
Each one of the four brand new members of the Trump family stand to inherit untold millions. One of the four, Bubba #1, who presently lives in Duck Dung, Alabama, said that he can hardly wait to see his new-found biological daddy (Donnie) so that he can give him a great big ol' Dixieland kiss on his great big ol' racist lips.
Meanwhile Cletus, Peckler, and Bubba #2, say that they can hardly wait to meet their brand new half-sister, the lasciviously sexy-as-shit, Ivanka, so that each one can give the human Barbie Doll, a good-old-fashioned, southern-style, good ol’ boy, brotherly-sisterly feeling up.
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: As they say in Kalamazoo, the apples don't fall far from the tree - or in this case the nuts don't fall from the bush].
