NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Tabloid Today has just announced that the latest book on the twice-impeached, loser, Donald Jonathan Trump went to #1 quicker than any book in history.
TT reporter Papaya Bamboo confirmed that the book, which was co-written by Mitch McConnell and Jeff Sessions, hit the top of the book charts just 13 minutes after being released to the public.
Miss Bamboo, who just recently became engaged to a feline gynecologist, said that the authors interviewed over 400 of Trump’s closest friends, relatives, cabinet members, bankers, and of course women whose pussies he grabbed, simply because as he has stated over 900 times, he could.
The 703-page book incudes over 600 photos of everyone of the 519 women who claim that the Nazi predator either grabbed them, caressed them, molested them, or boinked them.
When asked to comment on the book, Melania Trump simply say, “I tolds tu Donaldo, who I calls dee orange sheethead (shit head), dat all of dee sheet he wuzz doings wiff dees womens would cum back tu bite heem on hees whoremongering ass, and fuck eef eat dee-dent!”
Meanwhile the fart-brained DJT commented that he has never met Melania, does not know her, and then added that he does not poke women who have horrendously horrible accents.